


Flawless

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 17:41:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4188978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tonks realizes that she no longer has any reason to fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flawless

**Author's Note:**

> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING- SUICIDE. If you need help, PLEASE call 1-800-273-8255.

People think that because I'm an Auror, death doesn't affect me. Because I'm an Auror, I can't possibly be squeamish or hate blood. Because I'm an Auror, it's some kind of unspoken requirement that I have to be cold and shut people out. Because I am an Auror, I have to be perfectly beautiful, have no mental issues, and I have to look normal at all times.

Because I'm an Auror, I can't drag the blade across my wrists at night and cry. I can't struggle with bipolar disorder and falling for someone who will never fall for me in return.

But they're wrong. They're all wrong.

It's been three nights since the beginning of the end. Sirius, the only person who ever truly cared and tried to help me, is dead. What about my parents, you say? Surely they must care?

Ha! Good for you.... it must be such fun to live in a world of comfort and delusions. My mum saw my scars when I was 16 and slapped me, and my dad completely ignored the situation and refused to ever acknowledge it.

I'm insane, there's no doubt about that. Maybe I should just check myself into St. Mungo's permanent illnesses ward and let them deal with me.

The thoughts swirl around my head for a long time until I realize something: they don't want to deal with me either. Nobody does.

Without even realizing I'm still in Grimmauld Place inside an unlocked bathroom, I pull my blade from my pocket again and stare at it.

This is it.  
No more second guessing.  
No more what ifs.  
I am choosing to die in this bathroom tonight.  
There is no one left to save me, pull me from the darkest trench of my mind.

It's such a simple process.

Push.  
Pull.  
Move.  
Repeat until I pass out from the blood loss....

And so I start the process.  
Push.  
Pull.  
Cry.  
Push.  
Pull.  
Cry.  
Push.  
Pull.  
Cry.

I still haven't passed out, and yet... I stare at the word now etched into each of my wrists:

**FLAWLESS**

I finally feel myself slipping away....

* * *

Need help? Call 1-800-273-8255, please. I love you, don't hurt yourself.


End file.
